This, dear readers, is Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. If you’ve never seen this movie, go buy it now. Don’t rent it, don’t download it…buy it and own it. Payment is your punishment for having gone this long without experiencing a masterpiece.
Now in this movie, Mr. Jackson would have you believe that neither he, nor his boss, is a bitch.
As much as I respect this man (I mean…look at him), I think I have to disagree. He is one of the biggest bitches I’ve ever seen.
This is my yorkie, Miss-T. She, being a very tiny little female dog, is by all definitions a little bitch. Let me explain to you all a bit about this itty bitty firecracker.
She has never ever not even once been above nine pounds. Regardless of this fact, she has always acted as though she was the size of a bull mastiff. I’ve seen her chase down and intimidate a pit bull after he stepped on our lawn. If someone even sets foot on our doorstep, she’s ready to rip off their toes. Her hips aren’t doing so well now that she’s a crazy old lady, so your toes are what she can reach. But in her younger years, she was ready to jump up and take a bite out of your behind. She’s a spunky little bitch!
Over her many years, Miss-T has steadily been losing teeth. Her smile, at once endearing and terrifying, is gradually becoming so much more of the latter that it sends chills down my spine. But I still love to see it. Despite her ever growing need for doggy denchers, she keeps on smiling. Miss-T, that happy little bitch, doesn’t give a hoot about what you think.
Look at her not giving a hoot.
But the most interesting thing about Miss-T: she has delivered about ten litters in her life. Averaged out, that’s about 40 puppies. My little eight pound yorkie princess with the degrading smile has birthed about 40 tiny adorable poo factories. Have you ever watched something so small push out 6 babies? I don’t care what you say, that makes her a strong bitch.
Miss-T has given me lots to think about. Perhaps being a bitch should be a compliment.
“Wow…what an inspiring bitch!”
Or maybe we can use it to replace the phrase ‘like a boss.’ A lot of people hate their bosses, so why would that be a good thing anyway?
“Watch me park my car…like a bitch.”
I think it could catch on. Let’s make it a thing.
Either way, if you’re ever called a bitch, just take a moment and think of Miss-T. And know just what a strong bitch you really are.