One weekend day not too long ago, I sat myself down with my two slices and a blue Gatorade for my evening lunch. Down the block from the Stick, Stone & Bone (that’s the kick ass metaphysical shop where I work) there is a decent little pizzeria. Bear in mind all my non-NYC friends, by decent I still mean infinitely better than anything you can purchase where you are. Unless of course you live in that little European boot across the pond…then you win. Only then. I hadn’t ever tried the spicy chicken before, but I knew the white was going to make up for it should it not deliver. Both were satisfyingly delicious.
I began to clean myself up between sips of my blue beverage when, as is often the case in the Village, a small cluster of homosexuals glided by my table. How my gaydar picked them out as lovers of the penis is another post for another day, but they were all attractive young men. Sitting with my back to the doorway, I had not had the chance to catch every face in the gaggle. There was one young man in particular that caught my eye. He wore fitting dark blue-jeans. Not skinny jeans, mind you, but well fitting and…accentuating. It was a relatively chilly day, so he had on a light leather jacket atop what appeared to be proportionally broad shoulders. This beautiful from behind boy is, of course, one of those that escaped my notice on the way in.
For minutes I prolonged my cleaning ritual, wiping my mouth far more than necessary and taking ridiculously small sips, all in the hopes that I would see him turn enough for even a profile view. It paid off after several minutes more. With his pizza in hand, young leather jacket turned to find a table.
I found that I was not attracted to his front in the least. He, like his friends, was an attractive man. However, after all that build up I thought he might be the only one that attracted me. False, falsity, wrongness.
It’s quite interesting to think on the differences between what constitutes attractiveness and attraction. I pass by thousands of people every day, many of them incredibly attractive individuals for one reason or another. Few of the many actually attract me, however, and that is something to talk about.
Attractiveness does not guarantee attraction, and the two must remain separate ideas. I can find men of all races, shapes and sizes attractive. There are women in my life that are beautiful, gorgeous…attractive. I can readily and happily tell all of these people this to their faces. In fact, just last night I told a girl on the train ride home that she was beautiful. When someone is attractive, it is a fact that cannot be denied.
That being said, I am a gay man with personal preferences. All of those strikingly gorgeous women do not attract me in the least. While I recognize their beauty, I am not pulled towards them by any modicum of desire. The same can be said of many attractive men I encounter. I often find myself understanding why hordes of people flock to a man and simply not feeling any need to join in with the flock.
All this blathering on is really to say something simple: if you find that not everyone is attracted to you, do not assume it is because you are unattractive. You are, and you will find that there are those who recognize it and follow a desire along with it.
Happy Monday Fun Day, beautiful reader.