Sunday, July 8, 2012

I'm A Little Tea Pot...

Out there in this big bad world there is a sinister group of individuals who have been controlling all of humanity from behind a veiled curtain of obscurity. Much like Oz’s Wizard, there has been a great deal of behind the scenes showmanship, lever pulling, and manipulation. So long has this been happening that the identities of these sheep herders have fallen completely out of history. It would take an entire season of Dr. Who to uncover exactly who or what masterminds the whole ordeal. Don’t think you can call it easily like another Dalek invasion. Or for my pokemon minded readership, think of this as a Team Rocket type organization. This is a group that has achieved a level of such deep infiltration into the infrastructure of society that we couldn’t possibly hope to go to a new town without seeing their goings on. New members are recruited, though I am unaware as to how, every single day. The streets teem with members you will never recognize.

Collectively, this organization prefers to call itself: “They.”

And as They say, “You are what you eat.” If this saying of Theirs bears any truth, then I must currently be a delicious combination of homemade chicken noodle soup, honey, lemon juice, and tea. So much tea.

I’m sickly, dear readers. Who the hell catches a cold in July?! Let me share with you my sickness’ schedule of life fuckery:

Day 1: Wake up on audition day with a slight feeling of sniffles. Involuntary saliva swallow commence. IMMEDIATE REGRET!!! Throat spends most of the day feeling like fire ants have decided to make a new home there. Beginning of soup and tea regimen.

Day 2: Sniffles replaced by congestion. Sore throat, for the most part, is gone. In lieu of the fading nose/throat issues, I instead have a headache to rival any migraine ever. Fuck light, fuck noise, fuck everything! Sleep is even painful. More soup and tea was ingested once I could stomach it without my head making me nauseous. Also…I had a job interview. Fun!

*By evening, I had taken enough meds that I felt livable, so I attended a very chill get together with some friends. Happy 4th of July!*

Day 3-Present: Just congestion with a general sense of blargity blarg blarg blah. Minor cough happening, but I can’t tell if that’s a result of sickness or living with four cats.

Every day is a little bit better, but I still don’t understand my immune system. A cold in July…I blame Them.

Even though I am a fervent tea drinker, I haven’t had this much in quite a while. I’m certain it saved my throat, and it makes me feel warm and nice inside. I imagine this is how tea pots must feel. It’s really quite lovely.

Fun fact about me: whenever I’m pouring something, my entire body leans with it. If I’m pouring the last of the kettle and have to tip it over, my back will be bent sideways in a ninety degree angle. And I wonder why people look at me like I’m a freak sometimes. For your information, I am not a freak.

I’m a tea pot. Just ask Them. They know everything.

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