Out there in this big bad world there is a sinister group of
individuals who have been controlling all of humanity from behind a veiled curtain
of obscurity. Much like Oz’s Wizard, there has been a great deal of behind the
scenes showmanship, lever pulling, and manipulation. So long has this been
happening that the identities of these sheep herders have fallen completely out
of history. It would take an entire season of Dr. Who to uncover exactly who or
what masterminds the whole ordeal. Don’t think you can call it easily like another
Dalek invasion. Or for my pokemon minded readership, think of this as a Team
Rocket type organization. This is a group that has achieved a level of such
deep infiltration into the infrastructure of society that we couldn’t possibly
hope to go to a new town without seeing their goings on. New members are
recruited, though I am unaware as to how, every single day. The streets teem
with members you will never recognize.
Collectively, this organization prefers to call itself: “They.”
And as They say, “You are what you eat.” If this saying of
Theirs bears any truth, then I must currently be a delicious combination of
homemade chicken noodle soup, honey, lemon juice, and tea. So much tea.
I’m sickly, dear readers. Who the hell catches a cold in
July?! Let me share with you my sickness’ schedule of life fuckery:
Day 1: Wake up on audition day with a slight feeling of
sniffles. Involuntary saliva swallow commence. IMMEDIATE REGRET!!! Throat
spends most of the day feeling like fire ants have decided to make a new home
there. Beginning of soup and tea regimen.
Day 2: Sniffles replaced by congestion. Sore throat, for the
most part, is gone. In lieu of the fading nose/throat issues, I instead have a
headache to rival any migraine ever. Fuck light, fuck noise, fuck everything!
Sleep is even painful. More soup and tea was ingested once I could stomach it without
my head making me nauseous. Also…I had a job interview. Fun!
*By evening, I had taken enough meds that I felt livable, so
I attended a very chill get together with some friends. Happy 4th of
July!*
Day 3-Present: Just congestion with a general sense of
blargity blarg blarg blah. Minor cough happening, but I can’t tell if that’s a
result of sickness or living with four cats.
Every day is a little bit better, but I still don’t understand
my immune system. A cold in July…I blame Them.
Even though I am a fervent tea drinker, I haven’t had this
much in quite a while. I’m certain it saved my throat, and it makes me feel
warm and nice inside. I imagine this is how tea pots must feel. It’s really
quite lovely.
Fun fact about me: whenever I’m pouring something, my entire
body leans with it. If I’m pouring the last of the kettle and have to tip it
over, my back will be bent sideways in a ninety degree angle. And I wonder why
people look at me like I’m a freak sometimes. For your information, I am not a
freak.
I’m a tea pot. Just ask Them. They know everything.
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