Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Daydreams and wishes...

Something wonderful happened at work today.

In the midst of my I-had-no-coffee-today stupor, I had a daydream about a genie. His metallic purple lamp complimented his periwinkle eyes. With much grandeur, this genie of mine offered me my three wishes.

But first he gave the spiel. 
  1. No more than three wishes! Don't be a greedy douche-nozzle.
  2. No affecting the will of others. They like their shit the way it is.
  3. Let us not forget, no going against the natural order of things. Dead people are dead people, and zombies are an abomination. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Jesus. 

He sat...stood...floated? Whatever he was doing, he did it behind me for a while as I took care of customers and thought long and hard about what it is I wanted. Three whole wishes just for me? I could do great things for the world, but that would take away from my rather limited amount of wishes. And as the genie informed me earlier...they are in fact my wishes.

Better world for humanity? That's out.

But what would I be able to do for myself in just three wishes? I'm a successful professional actor! My family is set without financial concern for the rest of their natural lives. My bones are laced with adamantium and won't ever break again. (Thank you Wolverine.) That's three not entirely selfish wishes right there, but there is so much more I could want or do.

Thankfully there were no customers in my line in that next moment because LIGHTNING STRUCK MY BRAIN!!!! Epiphany time.

"My first wish," I whispered to the seated/standing/floating genie, "is to have the power to grant my own wishes as long as I live."

He snapped his fingers and a wisp of his purply mist tapped me on the nose. "As you wish. Its done." A little underwhelming if I do say so myself. I would have thought my daydreams could pack a more spectacular punch than that, but whatever. "What is your next wish?"

Now that I could handle my own wishes (and I wasn't limited to a measly three wishes), I wished the genie freedom and a happy day. 

This got me thinking though...I don't really need a genie to achieve my dreams. In general, my wishes aren't all that extravagant. Except for the unbreakable bones...but for that I can just work on being more careful. You know, look where I'm going and stuff.


I've got everything I need to make my wishes come true right here inside me. I just have to get off of my ever-increasing-in-size lazy ass and get to it. 

My god...coffee withdrawals can be so inspiring. 


  1. Nice way around the "no more wishes" caveat.

  2. I'm so glad you didn't wait until next Monday to post this. :o)

    If only everyone could come to that realization.... Perhaps we deprive the entire world of coffee one day and help them along?......

    1. This is a great plan...if you want to be brutally murdered! We'll have to think on something else.

  3. Lovely, and TRUE!!!