Monday, June 24, 2013

Frozen Grapes...

Life is kind of tumbling out of control in the best possible way. For the next several months, I think I’ll be an incredibly busy person. Increasing responsibility at two jobs in two different boroughs, neither of which being the one I reside in, will be leaving me with what looks to be possibly one day off a week. Perhaps two if the odds are in my favor. Occasionally not even the one.

I should stock up on underwear. Laundry days might become few and far between. Maybe I could try the drop off laundry service? Should I trust my unmentionables in the hands of some random Asian twenty something down the block who must have a great sense of self worth as he juggles 33 distinct loads of random people’s dirty laundry simultaneously? With all this extra work, I could probably afford it, but is it worth the risk of losing something precious? Or trading socks with an 11 year old girl from the brownstone up the block?

I think I’m good on socks…it’s open toe shoe weather for a while.

Usually, I’m not a huge fashion Nazi, but wearing socks with open toe shoes just seems incorrect. If it floats your boat, more power to you, but I enjoy my feet being able to breath and not be cooped up in a cotton/polyblend sweat sack when they don’t have to be. To digress further, I don’t own any interesting socks worth displaying to the world through the straps of my Birkenstocks. It’s really quite depressing. I may cry about it in a while.

That’s not true.

It might be a little true. A small part of me feels envy for people who aren’t afraid to show some personality in their footish undergarments.

That’s not true either. I support your colorful feet but respectfully point out that it’s too fucking hot for that kind of flamboyant sole suffocating display.

Thank goodness I bought those grapes the other day. Sweet and tasty red grapes…the green ones can be a little sour for my taste, but they’ll do on occasion. Way back in high school, during my marching band career, I learned a fun snack trick to alleviate the overwhelming heat. I’ve been utilizing it once in a while up here in the city now that the temperature is on the rise. If you pop your grapes into the freezer and give them a night to chill, you get a tastilicious frozen nommable that happens to be good for you. They’re like itty bitty naturally flavored popsicle bites. Especially in the rooms without AC, they have proven a life saver. I definitely suggest anyone suffering from enough heat dementia to wear socks with open toe shoes try this delightful remedy. Anyone could benefit, really…but especially those sock fiends.

Moral of this story? You learn everything you need to know about how to deal with the important life obstacles in those formative high school years. None of it was in class. Frozen grapes, man. Try it.

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