Old Jack Frost...

I was walking to the bank the other day when I was struck simultaneously by a gust of icy wind and a poem at the same time! It was as though the winter gust brought with it an etheric USB drive and plugged it straight into my brain. Directly in the right temple, believe it or not. I present to you now the unaltered frosty wind poem: Old Jack Frost. *Updates - 1/16/14

Love at First Sight...

It has been said before that love at first sight is nothing more than a myth, a fantasy. The delusional dreaming of an over romanticized mind. But after last night, I know this isn’t so.

There I was just walking along the platform waiting for the Q when a man who had no business being so damn beautiful pulled me out of my kindle for one fateful moment. This man, this nerdy Adonis, this silent but deadly creature and I locked eyes…and I knew.

Adult Problems...

My radiator leaks.

Mine’s only like drip, drip, drip, so a towel on the floor is enough to save me for now.

The heating system in this new apartment wants me to be warm so much that it’s expelling boiling droplets into my room.

I should feel honored.

I don’t.

A definition for you...

Exhaustion (n.):

1. The act or process of exhausting...all of my energy with two jobs and ballin' friends.
2. The state of being exhausted...a feeling somewhat permanent as of late.
3. Extreme weakness or fatigue...barely touched by an hour long bath.
4. The total consumption of something...my soul. The something is my soul.

The Winds Blow Ever On...

Just last year around this time, the winds of change blew harder than they had in a long while for me. Instead of fighting it, rooting down and waiting it out in an exercise of futility, I decided to set sail on what has turned out to be the best adventure of my life. The winds have a habit of blowing harder and harder forcibly altering your life until you have no choice but to accept the changes they bring. But it turns out, my friends, that embracing the currents seems to make the changes easier and gives you at least some control of how to steer the ship.

I'm a big boy now...

Almost every Friday night for the last several months, since mid February if I remember correctly, I have spent my evenings well into the learly hours of the morning with an amazing group of flesh craving, heartbeat deprived lunatics. Not many people have the opportunity to spend time every week with a horde of seemingly insatiable zombies. Even fewer, I think, have the chance to willfully forfeit the living world for an eve and join the thralldom, enslaved by a never ending hunger for warm blood. We even get paid for this nonsense! I consider myself very lucky.

Put it on ya head...

About one week ago here in New York City, I found myself digging out a jacket from my little storage bin. I had put most of them away once the weather started to turn warm enough for comfortable open toed shoes on the regular. It seems that weather in the Big Apple is just as finicky as back in Florida, though, and so I found myself needing the warm makery once again.

Flash forward to the now times…it’s hot as balls! It feels like the sun decided to hop on down for a day of sitting directly on my head. You give me food, sun, you give me life. Don’t think I’m not appreciative, but holy fuck monkeys you’ve got to stay further away. We’re talking somewhere in the 80s at night, people. Several mornings now I have woken up in a puddle of my own sweat. A puddle! I sleep naked and uncovered…this should not be a thing. This weather, friends, is full of yuck.

FedUp...

I’m sitting on my couch.

My coffee pot is sputtering away heating up water for my second cup of tea. I haven’t been able to invest in a water filter bottle yet, so I heat up my water like MacGyver. It’s a thing…don’t worry about it. The incense cone I lit a while ago has burned a quarter of the way through. Much less mess, incense cones. Sticks have a tendency to ash up everything. Unless, of course, you have an enclosed incense box. Note to self: add that to my list of necessary investables.

Just a Quickie...

Hello my dearest friends and readers! This weekend, any of my normal dedicated writing time was taken up by various emergencies and life happenings, so I thought I would simply do an update post this go around. You know? Talk about what's good in the hood. And stuff. Yes...let's begin.

WORK:

I'm now a full time manager at my little metaphysical shop on Christopher St. We're a tiny family there, but I'm so happy I'm finally feeling like an actual member of the group. This store has been a life, faith and happiness saver, and I'm so grateful for it.

Also, every Friday night from around 9 to 12 I am a zombie at an attraction called Zombiefest. It is one of the most fun and ridiculous jobs I could have ever imagined having the pleasure to work. We (that is, we actor zombie peoples) run around with patrons for a few hours in the most epic game of laser tag I have ever experienced. Seriously, if you come to visit me, let's set up your run through the Asylum. I'll scare you shitless, you'll get to shoot me in the head. Fun!

WORLD:

People keep telling me it's Spring. Even the trees are waking up, flowers are fucking with my nose and I'm greeted by a chorus of chirping birds any time I arrive home too learly. The issue I'm having, though, is that it's still averaging around 50 degrees. We're way into April, world...get that shit together. I want to go busking, and I need some warmer times to make that a thing.

WOES:

My neck has been hurting. I think my body was just spoiled by years of a tempurpedic mattress. This spring nonsense just isn't cutting it. Might have to get some kind of cushy pad cover business.

Last Friday night, I received my first major zombie injury. A patron's gun made unintentional contact with my nose. It's a bit sore, but it's getting better. Should be totally alright in another day or so. Zombies don't die, and neither shall I!!!

I've been falling behind on my keeping in touch through letters resolution, and I'm sorry. If you're reading this, you have my permission to harass me into getting back on track. I'll appreciate it.


To keep it quick, I think that's it for now. I intend to take some time on a more creative post sometime between the Monday Fun Days this week. Sending love and light out to each and every one of you, my lovelies.

A Mouse in the House...

When I was little, one of my favorite books to read with my mother was A Mouse in the House by Henrietta. Honestly, there was very little reading involved. This beloved childhood book of mine was in actuality a large book of assorted two-page long pictures in which my mother and I were charged with finding a tiny mouse amidst a seemingly endless sea of refuse and household crap. Think of it as a Where’s Waldo? for rodents.

Now I’m grown, the book spends its days stored in a box within the closets of my mother’s North Carolina home, and I sometimes think back on the memories and smile. I find myself thinking back on all those fun pre-bedtime mouse hunts more often of late. The reason, you ask? It’s quite simple, dear reader. Now that I’m grown and sharing a big boy apartment with two lovely ladies in Brooklyn, I have my very own mouse in the house.

Haha...Got Ya!

Having spent several years playing grown up now (you know, apartment hunting, paying bills, figuring out life and all that good stuff), I’ve made a pretty funny observation. An observation of something which is funny. Not funny-haha…more funny-what-the-shit. Understand?

Good.

Beautiful Inconvenience...

Having been born in the shaft of America’s penis, I am no stranger to extreme weather phenomena or the effects they seem to have. Hurricanes the size of Texas (or larger), tornadoes strong enough to wipe out entire trailer parks, wild fires complete with exploding palm trees, droughts that go on forever, floods to drown even the heaviest of duty vehicles, sunburns through t-shirts, trudging ever on in the gelatinous humidity and wishing you had a knife to cut your way through, winds whipping debris around fast enough to slice your limbs off…these are my childhood companions. We Floridians know how to party, let me tell you. As fun as all that sounds (and some of it really can be fun), each and every one of those things is on the list of reasons why I chose to leave Florida in a permanent kind of way.

The Animal Within...

If you were an animal, what would you be?

Seems like a simple enough question, right? All you have to do is close your eyes, search deep within yourself, release your inner child from the shackles of adulthood for a moment or two and let ‘em go to town. Every animal that has ever appeared cool, groovy, nifty, awesome, badass or in any other way even remotely the shit to you in your entire life will be put on rapid display behind your eyelids. Within mere moments, you and your itty bitty childhood self sort through images of winged assassins and slithering poison factories, furry bundles of cuteness and scales with teeth. All of these scenes play out in a matter of seconds. Feverishly, the two of you whittle away at the choices until you reach the conclusion that seems to be the most logical conclusion of all conclusions ever to have been concluded. Jeez, I don’t even know why you had to ask such a question. I can see it so clearly in my mind’s eye now…I thought it would be obvious.

I am a mother fucking dragon.

Customer Service is Customer Service...

Last May, I ended a seven year marathon of working in one of the largest grocery store chains in the south eastern United States. In that time, I learned a great deal about interacting with the public on a regular basis. Some people pop into your life for a brief moment or two and leave you feeling inspired. The other 99% of customers do their best to make you a jaded, crushed soul who hates everybody and trusts no one. After somehow retaining my sanity and a love for humanity, I terminated my employment, moved up to New York City and began the job hunt.

The Speechless City...

Last June, I made a great big life change and moved to New York City. While I don’t claim to be an expert yet, I certainly do feel like I know a thing or two at this point. Spending my days riding about on subway cars and walking the seemingly endless streets of this sleepless city, I’ve managed to make a surprising observation: the silence here is deafening!

Winter Wonderland...

I woke up this morning, and this poured forth from my brain to my fingertips. It’s really quite fitting. Happy Monday Fun Day, everyone, and here’s hoping you find a way to keep warm. Enjoy my string of haikus.

Good, Bad and Ugly

If I’m ever to fulfill my dream of making a musical about New York City adventures, I’m going to need a lot of amazing character actors. This is not an assumption, because I know what happens when one assumes. Neither of us likes being an ass…forgive my speaking for you, but I think that’s a reasonable call on my part. It is cold, hard fact.

A Holiday Poem

Happy Christmas Eve, dear readers, and Monday Fun Day to boot! Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, there is holiday spirit all around this time of year. As such, I thought I would try my hand at recreating an old classic with my rather interesting holiday weekend at work for inspiration. I do hope you enjoy.

The Other Half...

This past Wednesday, I was presented with a unique opportunity which I am ever so happy I took advantage of. A friend of mine was asked to put together a serving team for a private party. Anyone working with him at his restaurant that he normally would have used seemed to be scheduled or riddled with prior engagements, and thus came about the initiatory text.

“I know we were planning to see the Hobbit on Saturday, but I have some news that may throw a wrench in that plan. Are you free?”

Well, seeing as I was already planning on spending the day with him anyway, my freeness wasn’t really in question. I asked what he had in mind.

Facts...

It’s 9:51 PM.

It has been dark for almost five complete and total hours now, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I like the sunlight, but at the same time I feel most productive during the darker twilight hours.

I do not enjoy the Twilight series. I’m all for team ‘burn that atrocity.’