Facts...

It’s 9:51 PM.

It has been dark for almost five complete and total hours now, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I like the sunlight, but at the same time I feel most productive during the darker twilight hours.

I do not enjoy the Twilight series. I’m all for team ‘burn that atrocity.’

My roommate and I have almost finished a bottle of wine each.

I have achieved the state I refer to as woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo would be equivalent to most people’s tipsy.

I like eggs.

Eggs Florentine…I had that this morning at a diner in Williamsburg.

Williamsburg is full of yeses.

Yeses are attractive people you would like to do terrible things to if you had the chance.

You should start playing the game Yes or No.

The judgmental side of you is given free rein to go all out and decide who you would like to take behind the bleachers based entirely upon their looks.

I’m on the toilet…right now.

I thought you should know.

It’s really only fair that you know…you are reading what I write on the toilet, so why shouldn’t you know?

I wonder if J.K. Rowling wrote any of Harry Potter while pooping?

Or Tolkien?

Perhaps I’ll be a famous writer one day, and you will ask the same of my great works.

That wasn’t a fact. I apologize.

I’m almost done on the toilet, I swear.

That is a fact.

So was that.

My feet have been peeling recently, and I don’t know why.

I think New York has it out for me.

At least for my feet.

I think I learned how to start toilet paper incorrectly…the first glued piece always seems to tear.

That is really frustrating.

The bathroom door isn’t locked.

It took me two tries to spell bathroom correctly.

Three tries to spell took.

I fear I may be an idiot.

Two tries for idiot.

Wine is a dangerous thing.

It’s also delicious!

That was an opinion. More apologies.

All done.

I just read this to my roommates, and they seemed to think I should post it.

I think I will.

It’s Monday…I hope you had a fun one.

Twice for fun.

I’m going to bed, now.

Gute Nacht.