Rooster Thoughts

“I wonder what color rooster eggs would be. Dark brown I think. Do you think so, Bro?”

These are the words of my grandmother. This is just another reason I love her (and another reason I know we are blood related).  How else could we have such similar and ridiculously interesting thoughts at the breakfast table? And with German accents, too!

Being Alone...

Do you ever take a day for some you time? Take some time to spend with nobody but yourself? Does it excite you to think of time away from anyone and anything other than your own thoughts? To think of being totally alone?

I do, and it does.

Hot and Cold

I lay here in bed, naked and squeaky clean, having just had one of the niftiest experiences in the world. It took place in my shower.

Stop being gross. I can hear your thoughts, you nasty.

White Pants and Bastard Bugs

I own a pair of stark white slacks, and until now they have served me quite well.

Since the day of their purchase, their brilliant, blinding whiteness has remained untarnished. They have come out with me to the seedy stank nasty clubs of Tallahassee, to several big ceremonies, to plays both big and small, and even to a friendly get together or two. In these white ninja pants, I’ve managed to dodge smear happy dirt bombs and pointed alcoholic beverage attacks. Italian restaurants haven’t even been able to so much as leave a funny odor in the fabric, let alone leave a mark.