Facial Feelings

Rubbing a spoon on your face feels awesome.

I can just picture your faces now. Doubting eyes and disbelieving scowls. But I ask you this: Have you ever tried rubbing a spoon on your face? No? Then stifle your nonsense looks and listen!

Messy Me

Sorry for being out of it the last few days. Life has taken a drastic turn, and my ability to write faltered for a day or two. But tonight, I took a short while and wrote a poem (something I haven't done in YEARS).

Finding time to play...

For those of you who are as of yet unaware, I am a grown man currently working a job I have no passion for simply to pay my bills. In this regard, I’m like 99% of everyone ever. But unlike most of the others out there for whom this is true, I am a genuinely happy person who is content with life on the day to day.

My secret? I allow myself to have “too much fun.”

About once a week, usually while I’m cashiering at work, I’ll actually have someone come up to me and tell me to my face “You’re having way too much fun.” This is something I’ve heard from co-workers, customers, and even friends while we are out and about. All of you probably don’t think too much about what you’re revealing when you say this, but it tells me worlds about you.

You, my dear fun starved friends, are all dangerously close to killing your inner child.

I don’t know what it is that people find so threatening about an adult being happy with the little wonders of the world. There is something terribly wrong with our society and its views on what constitutes adulthood. Any adult that takes joy in something simple is often considered “childish” or “a little bit off.” Fun fact, I’ve been told I’m both of these things while my name caller looked me straight in the eyes. Day after day, hordes of people allow the idea of time to corrode their inner essence until there’s nothing left but the wretched shell of a former innocent.

Well…I flat out refuse!

I am 23 years old, and I love to play with balloons. I think stickers are one of the best things ever invented, and I will make trips at 1AM to the nearest 24 hour convenience store for a good coloring book and a pack of crayons.

I am a college graduate, and I still use the force to open automatic sliding doors. I am convinced that I am a water bender as I have become quite proficient with making whirlpools in the sink, and blowing large bubbles when I wash my hands is turning into a regular sport.

I use hard earned money for my gas, tune ups and car insurance, and I still like to drive around pretending my car is a spaceship. I pull up next to semi trucks, make a big L with my arm, and I don’t stop pumping until I hear them blow the horn.

I am old enough to get minors into R rated movies, but I will still sing along loud and proud to any Disney movie from beginning to end.

I have enough experience to know that time should not be wasted, and I still choose to spend some of it talking to trees, birds and squirrels. I stop to look at bugs, flowers, shiny things, ugly things, things that smell, and things that make funny noises.

I use my own personal credit card to make purchases online, and when the package finally arrives, I spend an hour playing with the box.

I blow bubbles in my milk. I smile at the moon. I try to make the traffic lights change colors with my mind. I would rather teach my puppy how to climb up to my shoulders than to sit and stay. I draw faces on the presidents when I check if the bills are real. I make up words on a daily basis. I eat breakfast for dinner.

I find the time to play. And so should you.

Don’t allow yourself to fall away into the cold of being an “adult,” whatever the hell that means. Please take a minute of your Monday and remind yourself to live instead of just exist. If you ever find yourself thinking that you’re having too much fun, don’t fight it. If anything, I promise you that you’re not having enough.

Once they’re truly dead, not even inner children can come back. I believe that with every fiber of my being. So I don’t know about you, but I plan to live my entire life being happy. Even on the down days, there are small beauties that shouldn't go unnoticed. I want to so liberate my inner child that I end my life walking beside him into our next big adventure.

What about you?

Some things are just true...

Feet are ugly as sin.

Really, have you ever just looked at them? Especially here in Florida where winter can still be considered flip flop season, I’ve had ample opportunity for viewing the shoeless masses. And to be clear, by masses I mean those slabs of meat that balance the rest of you when you’re standing.

Let’s take a serious look at our feet for a minute.

The entire human body seems to flow in one direction. Yes, our arms can move about when we force them. But when we allow them to lie naturally, they fall in line with the rest of our being. From our head to our ankles, the body is a uniform mechanism. Then we have the feet. They sit there jutting out all perpendicular to the rest of the glorious human form disrupting the linear design of things. Disgusting!

This ungainly blob of flesh and bone isn’t content with simply messing up our body shui. Of course not! It splits off at the end into five (give or take) either ridiculously nubby or obscenely long and claw-like phalanges. One of these things happens to be bulbous! If you look at people when they sit and roll their feet, their toes bend to and fro, up and down, all around. The soles of their feet wrinkle and crease. Its really quite unpleasant.

And don’t get me started on when you get these things wet. Blech!

Now please don’t misunderstand. Especially given my recent toe injury, I fully respect the miracle and anatomical beauty of the foot. Here we have 26 bones working together with more than a hundred muscles, tendons, and ligaments in order to get us from point A to point B. And unless you do something to royally screw up this plan, they work pretty flawlessly. Without feet, I think we would be a pretty cumbersome species. But as it stands (see what I did there? Stands…like on feet), the human body is designed with these finely tuned appendages that carry the weight of our body. That’s actually pretty damn awesome.

Aside from the normal intricacies of the foot, the world is full of amazing stories like this: Amazing woman using her feet as hands

This woman is not the only person in the world who has learned to use her feet for pretty much everything. When you look at how great the foot’s dexterity can be, it is really awe inspiring. I mean, she can lift groceries, fold laundry, and drive a car with only her feet. She can drive, for goodness’ sake! And when the time comes to be gentle with her baby, she can easily change his diaper. That’s amazing!

When you take the time to consider their intricacies, you can’t ignore how wonderful feet actually are.

But they’re still fuckin’ ugly.